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Tips For Stepfamily Success
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Step Families
“Stepfamilies are born out of a loss and often disintegrate due to
unfulfilled, unrealistic expectations stemming from that void.” -Yaffa Balsam
 
Balancing a healthy couple relationship with parenting is a constant challenge at best and a losing battle at worst. Unrealistic expectations regarding the success of the family unit, i.e, instant love with stepchildren, often create resentments between spouses. The presence of an ex-spouse can cause constant friction. The "our" child is confused because siblings have parents in different homes.

The wife is expected to fulfill everyone’s emotional needs and is not always acknowledged for her hard work.

There can be unresolved grief and anger from a previous marriage and creating a financial partnership may seem next to impossible.

Children with special needs, i.e., learning disabilities, need exceptional attention and divided loyalties for children often prevent them from embracing their stepfamily while cultural differences between spouses are often confused for interpersonal issues. Grandparents are confused and frustrated about their position in the family.

These problems are warning signs indicative of a marriage in need of preventive care.

Over 50 percent of first marriages end up in divorce. Seventy five percent of those people remarry, and 60 percent of second marriages end up in divorce.

Disagreements between remarried spouses do not necessarily mean a pending divorce. A close look at the source of these issues will shed light on the strains unique to step families and help the new family be a success.

Click here for a free helpful brochure on step families.

Remarriage
The decision to remarry is one of the most difficult choices you face in your life. Often times, it is more complex than the decision to marry for the first time.

For many people, the single parent family phase is challenging and frequently lonely. They hope (unrealistically) that the love they share with their partner will be enough to make the stepfamily successful.

More than half of remarried couples end up divorcing. Unfortunately, they skip the educational part of how to maximize the chances for a successful stepfamily.

Background Information
Understanding your potential partner’s family history will help you comprehend how s/he developed certain beliefs, opinions, and feelings about life in general and about marriage in particular. We don’t grow up in a vacuum. Our surroundings greatly impact our perception of who we are and what other people mean to us.

While love is an essential ingredient to a good, happy, and healthy relationship, it is not enough. For a lasting relationship we need to know and understand our partner’s family background as well as their history of previous relationships. We will then be better able to evaluate if indeed this person is the right one.

Click here for a remarkable checklist to find out important questions to ask your partner that will make a difference in your future as a couple... such as which crucial issues you are like minded about. People’s past relationships may tell you much about what you might encounter from them in the future. This free brochure includes questions that indicate vital signposts and clarify both you and your partner’s communication styles.

 
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